loopyloulaura

I have always been desperate to have children. I thought I knew it all. Then almost 7 years ago my life changed completely with the arrival of a little person with no instruction manual (or too many?! judging by the number of books and websites on parenting!)

Below are some of the ridiculous and frankly stupid things I believed before having kids.

• Parenting was easy

Oh yes. I was a traitor! I thought the parents who couldn’t control their children or stop them crying were lazy or just crap. Now I know what an idiot I was! Children are not easy. Their demands, likes, dislikes, feelings, all change in a heartbeat and you have NO chance of catching up 🙁 The colour of plate DOES matter. The crusts DO affect the taste of the toast. Not being allowed to wear t shirt and shorts in a blizzard IS unreasonable.

• Kids wee all the time

I honestly thought that children were like mice and weed constantly and this was why they had to wear nappies. Imagine my shock when I discover they can hold it in and then release at the worst possible moment! Matthew taught me the fun that is ‘wee fountain’. Little boys have the ability to hose everything in sight. I thought girls were different. And yes, instead we had ‘wee flood’. Zach was completely traumatised by an enormous wee incident when very young and now hates weeing anywhere except his nappy. Goodness knows how he will cope with potty training!

• I’m tired.

Yes I was. But it was NOTHING to how tired I am now. I used to have naps! There is something ridiculously bone weary about me now. If I sit down, it takes a lot of effort to get me up again. But I keep going, I have no choice. In the morning I may not want to get out of bed but there are 3 beseeching little faces that force me to get up (plus all the fidgeting and arguing drives me to escape asap!)

• I would never wee or poo in front of anyone

I have always been an intensely private person so the thought of using the toilet in front of someone was completely beyond belief. Now the bathroom door is never shut for fear of some almighty catastrophe that would occur for that few precious minutes. I confess to taking longer in the bathroom than I actually need. If Chris or someone is looking after the kids then I sit there on the loo and just REST.

• Nothing would keep me away from a book

Oh dear. How little I knew. Reading is a precious commodity these days. Maybe half an hour every other day after the kids are in bed 🙁 always in the bath (ooh, the danger!) I used to read 2 books a week minimum, now I’m lucky to manage 1 a month. I foolishly thought that kids would be more independent than they actually are. I hanker for a summer afternoon spent outside reading in the sun while the children play quietly or read as well. Instead, they fall over, try to eat stones, argue, try to sit on me, get hungry etc etc. Maybe in another 5 years…?

Have any aspects of parenthood surprised you? Let me know in the comments!