loopyloulaura

I fully respect the decision of some mums to visit the gym. However, in my opinion, I endure more than enough physical activity just doing my daily routine! So much so that I have decided to classify them as my own Olympic sports:

WEIGHTLIFTING

I was astonished after I had Matthew at just how heavy he was. Holding him day in, day out. Now my muscles are not bad from all the lifting and Zach is a breeze compared to when I have to pick up his older siblings. Matthew now weighs in at approximately half my body weight so lifting him in no mean feat let me tell you!

BOXING

Ouch. Children have no physical control. They hit, they kick, they bite. Their opponent: YOU! I have been repeatedly headbutted, my nose is routinely bitten by Zach, scratches, accidental slaps, pokes in the eye. Learn to dodge!!!

JUDO

Trying to wrangle a stroppy 10 month old into their clothes often results in a full on battle. Zach and I roll around on the floor while he tries to thwart my attempts to do up poppers.

HURDLES

The floor is usually covered in  crap  the detritus of playtime. Then the doorbell goes or there is some emergency. Next thing you know I am leaping like a sprightly gazelle over things at speed.

SPRINT

You are enjoying a moment of silence. Then the panic hits. You have children, they should never be quiet. The sprint to the next room is inevitable and the despair at what you may find fuels your adrenaline and drives your speed.

SHOTPUT

Have you ever had to tidy up in seconds? The quickest, noisiest way that teaches your kids the worst example is to literally throw things into their correct boxes. Aim and power are everything.

MARATHON

This is the attempt to get the child to sleep. Only an extra long walk in the buggy will suffice 🙁 And then once they are asleep you have to keep going to prevent them waking!!!

So next time you admire athletes, take a moment to consider the amazing feats of strength, speed and endurance that parents ‘enjoy’ daily, often fuelled by sleepless nights, a reliance on coffee, and a limitless love that drives us even when we want to give up. Olympians succeed every four years and deservedly get much acclaim yet we are creating the next generation of human beings whilst receiving very little appreciation. I still won’t be caught in a gym any time this century…